Regression: A return to earlier developmental stages (such as needing help with eating or sleeping) as a way to seek comfort and proximity.
Attachment Anxiety: The desperate “wrapping” of grief around a new caregiver, as seen in Avery’s immediate bond with her adoptive mother.
- The Bureaucracy of Love
The transition from “grieving guardian” to “legal mother” is often a marathon of paperwork. Behind every court date and background check is a silent vow: I am the one who stays. For a single adoptive parent, this commitment often means a total restructuring of life. Careers are “bent,” social circles are “thinned,” and the focus narrows to one singular goal—proving to a traumatized child that the world can once again be a safe place.
Part II: Thirteen Years of Healing – The “Invisible Work” of Parenting
Fast forward thirteen years. Avery is now sixteen, a “fierce and funny” teenager. While the world sees a successful adoption, the internal reality is one of “invisible work”—the daily management of triggers, the anniversaries of loss, and the slow construction of a new identity that honors her past while securing her future.
