I expected panic.
It came.
Then passed.
We reached the stretch of water where the captain had quietly slowed the engines months earlier.
I stood at the stern.
The ocean looked ordinary.
That irritated me.
I had expected it to look evil.
Trauma does that.
It convinces you geography should remember.
Water doesn’t.
I looked toward the horizon.
My father stood beside me.
“You sure?”
“No.”
“About what?”
“Any of it.”
He smiled sadly.
“That’s probably healthier.”
I laughed.
Then I told him something I had not admitted before.
“I keep wondering if Adrian ever loved me.”
My father took a long time to answer.
“Do you need the answer?”
“I thought I did.”
“And now?”
I looked at the water.
“No.”
That surprised me.
Because whether Adrian loved me did not change what he chose.
People sometimes imagine love as the opposite of harm.
It isn’t always.
