“No,” I replied. “Absolutely not. I am not a monster. I would never cut off a vital utility to an elderly woman in freezing temperatures.”
I heard a collective sigh of relief echo through the receiver.
“However,” I continued, my voice hardening into steel. “First thing Monday morning, I am contacting the utility provider. I am formally transferring legal responsibility for the meter back to your name and social security number. Furthermore, I am logging into my banking portal tonight and permanently deleting the automated payment authorization.”
Mom sounded as though I had just struck her with a blunt instrument. “You… you pay the bill automatically?”
“Yes. Every thirtieth of the month. Like clockwork.”
“But I reimburse you! Sometimes!”
“You reimbursed me in October,” I recited coldly. Silence. “Before that, it was June.” More silence. “And prior to that, February.”
I heard Brooke mutter in the background, “Why does he possess such a psychotic memory for calendar months?”
