Tradition.
Family values.
The future.
Every time guilt appeared, we covered it with another excuse.
Wedding planning gave us endless opportunities.
Betty disliked Kira’s preferred dress because she believed it didn’t suit the kind of ceremony Marcus’s family envisioned.
I objected to several dishes suggested for the reception because they were unfamiliar to me.
When the subject of the ceremony venue came up, we nearly turned the discussion into a battle.
Betty wanted their family church considered.
I wanted ours.
We argued about music.
Flowers.
The guest list.
Table arrangements.
Even the order in which relatives should be seated.
Every small difference became evidence in our minds that Kira and Marcus were too different.
But something unexpected happened.
The harder Betty and I pushed, the closer Kira and Marcus became.
When we argued about the ceremony, they compromised.
When we criticized the menu, they combined dishes from both families.
When we disagreed about traditions, they found ways to honor both.
Instead of proving that they were incompatible, we accidentally gave them endless opportunities to prove the opposite.
One afternoon, after another wedding discussion had ended with Kira and Marcus calmly solving a problem Betty and I had made enormous, Betty called me.
“This isn’t working.”
I knew exactly what she meant.
“No.”
“They’re more determined than ever.”
I sighed.
“So what do we do?”
There was a long silence.
Then Betty said, “Maybe they need to see that there are other possibilities.”
That should have been the moment I stopped.
Instead, I understood immediately.
I knew a young man through work.
